Almost There

Only ten more days till I’m off to see Mark.  I can’t even believe how fast this time has gone.  This week has been the fastest too.  Plus, the calendar is filled from now until the Saturday before I leave, so its going to fly by.

Life has been Supernaturally easy for me right now – and I’m SO GLAD!  God’s Grace is enough for me.  Not only is it easy, but I’ve recieved a joyful heart in a way I’ve never ever experienced.  One day I woke up and recieved God’s blessing on my life.  Now, I don’t know what the future holds for my family.  I don’t know the types of struggles we are going to go through – but I do know that I can remain in this place for ever if I allow myself to enjoy God enjoying me. 

“The best way to show my gratitude to God is to accept everything, even my problems, with joy.”  ~ Mother Teresa

Happy Thanksgiving!

I woke up to my Hubby calling me with his cell phone!  He is doing really good and passed his PT test.  I’m so proud of him.  He wanted to make some more phone calls but I think he may have only had 1/2 an hour to use it. 

They didn’t eat breakfast and were on their way to Feast on a Thanksgiving Meal.  Its going to be a wonderful day for him today.  He says that all the Commanders and Important High Ranking people are serving them their food today.  That is just the sweetest and probably most humbling thing!

Happy Thanksgiving!

17 More Days, Then I’m on A Plane

Things have been getting a little harder lately.  It feels like the Grace is lifting, but I know it isn’t.  I’ve cried out “Jesus Help Me” more times than I can count.  Even Justice is beginning to toss his head back and call it out sometimes.  Sounds funny, but its been really hard.  A dear friend prayed over me today and it was so nice to just let the tears flow. 

I’ve been able to talk to Mark pretty much every other day.  Unfortunately not today, but I did get a really sweet letter.  He is almost done and they are basically finished with all of the hard training.  All that is left is “Victory Forge” where the soldiers go to the woods/field to camp out and use all of the training that they just recieved in a 5-7 day event. 

His only concern is for his hamstring.  Its been giving him trouble off and on.  Today was his PT test.  He has scored well above what he needs to Graduate with every practice test, but I know that he had some personal goals that he wanted to meet.  So, we will see what happens.

Thanksgiving will be a relaxing day for him.  They get to just eat and watch TV all day.  Hopefully all of his Drill Sergeants get a break to be with their families too. 

I’m going to spend Thanksgiving with some family and swing by a friends house.  That is if my boys cooperate.  I’ll miss Mark this year, but I will be with him soon! 

Only 17 more days and then I leave on December 14th to fly out for Family Day and Graduation and then we fly home on December 17th.  Thankfully Mark’s Mom and my Mom are going to watch the boys while I’m gone.  Its going to be great to see Mark, but its also going to be nice to have a mini vacation away from the boys too.  So long as they stay healthy and nothing bad happens to them, its going to be a wonderful time!  I look forward to having a break!  Even the plane ride is going to be a dream……. I haven’t traveled with out kids in over two years.  I haven’t been away from my boys overnight ever since they were born.  With the exception of when I gave birth to Jasher. Justice stayed the night at a friends house while I was in the hospital, but I don’t think that counts.  Anyway, I’m excited about the trip – Please pray for safe travels, healthy boys, and strength for the Grandmas to handle both of them!

In the Now

I had a really precious moment with Justice tonight.  He had just finished eating and had some milk left in his sippy cup that he wasn’t finished with yet.  I decided to hold him, like I would hold Jasher to let him finish his drink. I don’t nor

mally hold him like a baby unless I’m putting him to sleep.  Since he has become a Toddler, sitting and being still with Mom is not his top priority if you know what I mean. But tonight, the sweetest thing happened.  As we sat there in the dim, quiet room, he just let me hold him.  He had his drink in his mouth, but he wasn’t drinking.  He was just enjoying me holding him.  His heavy little body just relaxed into my arms and he let me hold him, with no wiggles, no squirming, no anxiousness – just complete peace and trust.  We sat there for a while just smiling at one another.

I know that God does the same for me, and for all of His Children.  God is in no hurry when it comes to us resting in Him.  It was passed Justice’s usual bedtime and I could have hurried him to bed but I didn’t, and in return I got a joyous surprise.  God could hurry us through the “assignments” that we have to do, He could push us along and point to the clock, and cross His arms and tap His toe while He waits for us to come along - but He doesn’t do that.  Holy Spirit is in no hurry when it comes to us enjoying Him or letting Him enjoy us.

It was a precious moment for me tonight. One that I won’t soon forget and one that I hope to recreate!  Thankfully  Jasher and I have our daily heart to hearts. Usually at 6 in the morning when know one else is awake, or when I rock him to sleep while staring into the windows of his soul.

I love my Mighty Men. 

There were some ROTC Soldiers at the park today.  Justice was waved to them and said, “Daddy’s in the Army. Daddy is a Soldier”.  Both of our boys are going to be So Happy to see Mark.  They don’t even know the joy that they are about to experience!  I guess thats whats great about their age.  They are not counting days or looking into the future too much. They live in the Now and simply enjoy the moment that they are in.

I Miss Mark!

Mark is doing well out there in South Carolina.  31 more days to go until I fly out to Family Day and Graduation.   I know I’m going to cry like a baby when I give him a hug for the first time!  I’ll be sure to bring my tissue and where waterproof mascara!  I miss him more every day, but I also grow more in love with him, more thankful for him, and more proud of him with each day that passes as well.

He told me about being able to minister in the Church Service last Sunday.  I think his next letter will have more of the details about that. 

The boys are doing well.  Jasher took a few steps on November 3rd. He is kind of going through the “Momma’s Boy Stage” where he cries when I leave the room.  Its not that bad though.  Justice is growing in stature and vocabulary.  Most people mistake him for being three years old even though he just turned “Terrific Two”.  And we all know what that means….

I’m doing pretty good.  Today started out great, but by the end of the day, I was ready for an extra set of hands to help me get the boys to bed.  No worries, Jesus stepped in.

Long-overdue Update

New Address:

PFC Mark Blakeman

2nd Platoon, F. Co. 3/13

Bldg. 5422 Jackson Blvd.

Fort Jackson, SC 29207  *Write “2nd Platoon” on the back of the Envelope*

Here is the latest news with Mark:

He is actually very thankful he is there and glad that his Drill Sergeants are the toughest in his Company.  There are three of them and they all served in Iraq together not too long before they became Drill Sergeants.  Mark has an intense respect for their “Realness” of what is going on with the War on Terror. His Drill Sergeants have seen many of their friends die due to suicide bombers and tank explosions.  They are intense on purpose and know what they are doing and Mark is very thankful.  He feels like he is getting a true “Soldierization Experience”.  In his words, “Anything less would be Summer Camp which may be what some people want, but there are those who want to be Soldiers and you can tell the difference.  So can the D.S.’  We’ve already had people get Article 15 and Automatic Restarts due to discipline issues.”

Thankfully the quarter sized blisters on his heels have healed.  During their 3 mile hike to Victory Tower he felt them developing.  I’m so proud of him for pushing through the pain of it all.  He wrote that it was going to hurt either way, so he just sped up the pace and let them rip open.  Ouch! That is the only major pain that he has written about. There might be more pain or soreness going on that he hasn’t told me about though.  We will just have to see if he tells me any Drama Stories when he Graduates!

Honestly, now that I am recieving his letters and we are actually communicating – it makes my life so much easier. We are finally able to respond to each others letters and sort of carry a conversation.  Because I know that he is doing well and he is healthy and actually glad that he is there, it rejuvinates me and helps me to keep a good attitude.  The most encouraging thing in one of his last letter was, “All I know is that I’d rather be here than one more day at Titan Auto - Even if it was going good business wise”.  To his old Co-workers, please do not take any offense at that Statement.  He loves you all very much and knows that he worked with the best!  But what he is saying is that he is alive on the inside! 

I’ll leave you with this quote from Mark’s Letter dated Wednesday October 22nd:

“In the words of a great man, ‘I hated every minute of it, but I wouldn’t miss it for the world.’ Curtis Leon Blakeman referring to Basic Combat Training. I definately feel the same.” – Mark Blakeman

Amazing Grace

I’ve been getting to know other Army Spouses these last few weeks.  There are some great forums and chat rooms where feelings, questions and answers are shared.  It is a wonder how much Grace it takes to accomplish the mission set before us.

As Mark and I realized, we are stepping into a Spiritual Winter.  From my perspective, it looks like all of America is stepping into this place too. It doesn’t take much discernment to feel the cold breeze blowing on the sore, open wounds of America. The wounds that only God can heal; far beyond economic issues. If one chooses, a Spiritual Winter can be a time of sipping Hot Apple Cider and cozing up with Abba to let Him do a deep, intimate work on the inner man. Or, it can be a dreaded season of missing the Sunshine and Iced Chai Tea Lattes.  As Mark wrote in his last letter, “This is the Divine Power of free will – to choose the trials He gives instead of being offended when they come.”

Sometimes our trials are just blessings in disguise.  With out shame I can say that there have been some really tough days that I miss my husband.  Jasher is getting three teeth right now and Justice is more passionate about life than ever! Mark always makes things easier to handle.  Just the simple pleasure of looking into his eyes brings waves of comfort at the end of the day. So yes, it can be tough sometimes but I’m so blessed through it all. These last three weeks I have uncovered some of the most precious blessings in my life.  Healing, personal growth, strength in weakness…Oh to have His strength in my weakness.  I want to live there the rest of my Life! 

The last time I heard my husband’s voice was two Sundays ago, but it feels like I just spoke with him this morning.  The boys and I are very proud of him.  It seems from his letters that he is enjoying all that he is learning and he is making some good friendships.  He is getting downloads from heaven about the Kingdom through this experience. Its amazing the insight that he has written about. Seriously, some of the Army Wives I’m getting to know are telling me that their husbands want to quit and go home.  It is probably harder mentally that physically – even though the physical aspect is demanding.  I’m just so glad Mark has a sweet attitude about it all.

He is going to finish well.  Here is a quote from his October 15th letter, “If this is the worst of it – push ups, sit-ups, running, shooting weapons (which really is cool, just not on 4 hours of sleep), some multi mile marches and a little bit more relaxed stages: I’ll be home in no time and then we are headed to the Beach!”

There is divine strength for us…Amazing Grace.

New Perspectives

Oh I am so thankful that all that we have to offer Him is weakness.  This is the only thing that we can give God.  Where is my strength, where is my zeal apart from what He gives me?  He longs for our weakness to be perfected in Him.  Its so beautiful.  The best exchange in the universe.  How He loves us so unconditionally, and so sweetly and kindly. He knows our very frame.  He knows exactly what we are made out of – just elements from the Earth until He breathed Life into us.

This journey into the Army is more of a faith walk then I imagined. I’m not sure about so many things.  So far, I know he graduates December 16th (God Willing) and that is about all I know as far as timeframes.  I know we will go to Monterey, but I do not know when, and I know that he will have 6 months of ‘James Bond’ training, but I do not know exactly when or where. I’m learning not to care so much about the ends and outs of the future.  Just living in the present has enough ins and outs as it is.

Each day I am finding more and more parallels about how being in the Army and being in the Kingdom are similar.  However, I must confess that the revelations are in their infant stages right now. But I so excited for what I am learning and what I will learn. This is a great journey…

1 Week Down…How many more to go?!

So it finally hit me.  Yep.  I guess my emotions move slower than my toddler, my teething baby and the ’to do’ list. 

So there I am, entering into worship at The Rock; so glad to be there, not too much going on in my mind – then SMACK!  I’m hit with the whole gamet of emotions that my Hubby is gone. Nowhere around, I haven’t heard his voice in three days.  I know I’d be notified if something terrible happened to him – Or would I?  I felt like a golf ball.  Just cozing up on the nice, green grass, then all of a sudden I’m catapulted into the wind of longing only to land in the pond of tears.  Oh how I miss him!  I know, I know…some of you are thinking, “Well honey, this is what you signed up for…Better get used to it.”  Well, think what you want – just don’t say it to my face – okay? : ) The saying is true, “It takes a strong woman to be a Military Wife.”  Yes, and I’m learning that first hand. 

However, there is a bright side.  I have a wonderful friend named Jesus.  And when I’m weak, He is Strong.  I have got to learn that it is okay to be weak.  It is okay to cry.  It is okay to miss him and I don’t have to feel defeated about it. Its okay to need a break sometimes. It is okay. If I don’t learn to put all my fraility in God now, then when will I ever do it? The time is now for me – and there is nothing wrong with that. Besides, why on earth would I attempt to do things in my own strength and my own power?  I’ve tried that plenty of times and failed – everytime.

Now, I’m wondering is it okay that it took a week for me to really start missing my husband?  Of course that is perfectly normal – Right?  Well, according to my dear friend Amanda Jones (Hi Amanda!) it took her about that long too.  Amanda has been such a good friend to me during this process.  She has successfully completed 10 weeks of Basic Training - being an Army Wife. It has been amazing having a friend who has gone this path before me and has made her self available to help me through this. Amanda now awaits her beckoning to Germany (which will be any day now) and will be living there for 3 years with her loving Husband and cute kitty.  I’m so proud of you Amanda.  Thank you Christopher for your service and thank you Amanda – you are serving too.

In divine timing, when I’ve needed it the most, there have been a few more confirmations (yes, more is better) that God is for us not against us in this process.  I would write them for all the world to see, but due to Mark’s future position in the Army, it would be best to keep it on the down low.  If you want to know the peticulars – we can talk face to face sometime.

Oh God is good.  I just found out that Mark’s Graduation is December 16th…There is a family day on the 15th where he will be able to show us around the base and introduse us to the Drill Sergeants. (What a lesson on Authority, huh?) Then on Tuesday he will have his Gradutation Ceremony.  The website said that there could be possible changes – but we will see. Wow!  Just to know that there is only 9 more weeks to go makes my heart leap with excitement!

Feel free to check out the website at: http://www.jackson.army.mil/BCT/BCT.htm

Mark is in Foxtrot Company 3rd Battalion 13th Infantry Regiment.

So much happens in So little time…

Well, Mark has officially met his Drill Sergeants.  Let’s just say the slang ”Relaxin’ Jackson” was a rumor.  We spoke on Wednesday the 8th due to his need for a few more references for security clearance.  It was so nice to hear his voice.  I was surprised he had joy in his tone.  It was the first time he had sat down in 12 hours.  His Drill Sergeants aren’t too fond of chairs and insist that his group needs to stand wherever they are.  Fortunately, right before he called, he and his buddies had a rip’ roaring belly laugh – so much so that he was snorting and crying!  I’m sure comic relief is a must at this point – at the right place and at the right time of course.  He asked to please pray for a somber, serious spirit while his Drill Sergeants are giving orders.  Supposedly they are intentionally hilarious, just waiting for someone to laugh or show emotion so that they can demand, “Drop and give me 20!”

Here’s his address:

PFC Mark Blakeman

F. Co. 313

Fort Jackson, SC 29207

I know the address looks a little funny, but just consider it to be like a PO Box.

As for me and the boys – Thankfully so far so good.  It is not as excruciating as I imagined it would be.  The grace hasn’t lifted and I’m praying that it will remain.  I had a lot of practice of handling the boys by myself.  Mark worked 4o+ hours selling Insurance, and we also tried to do some entrepreneurial ventures which had him away from home in the mornings and evenings at times. 

I’m realizing it is in the little things that I miss him and appreciate him more than ever.  It was so nice when he did get to put the boys to sleep and I got to relax and do nothing.  Or on the weekends he would cook breakfast in the morning.  Even going to the grocery store without him is quite the adventure. Just last week I said to myself, “Oh, I guess I have to bag my own groceries…And put them all in the house too.”  Usually my loving husband does that.  I just pray I don’t have to kill a bug or clean up some ant invasion.  Mark would usually do that too.  Isn’t he wonderful?

The boys love “The Daddy Show”.  Its Mark singing and doing the alphabet; playing with Justice, etc.  The boys love it so much.  Each video is about 10 minutes long.  When its over Justice says, “Bye Bye Daddy.  I’ll see you soon.  I love you!”  It is the cutest thing ever.  I think I’m going to record him watching the recording.  Thankfully Jasher is such an easy baby. I’m so proud of him. I’m teaching him to say Daddy an showing him lots of pictures. He and Mark have a very special bond.  One that I know will not be broken by this transition.

Oh, there is so much more to write about.  God is really doing a work in me right now.  My boys do take up most of my time and energy, but I am really experiencing a different side of myself.  Its like I’m living alone; something I’ve never experienced before.  An interesting dynamic takes place when there is not another adult around.  I’m discovering more of who I really am.  Its like a new level of my identity. Plus, I’m reading “Father Wounds” by Francis Anfuso which is bringing much needed healing and understanding in my life.  Next up is “The Shack”. Oh, I’m so greatful for this time.  Seriously, its like a 10 week internship or something.  I didn’t expect things to be this way – but I am enjoying it so far.

Yes, I have had a few hard nights.  Asking God, “Is this what we are supposed to be doing? Did we hear you correctly?”  Then, the Holy Spirit gives me peace.  Plus the Grace of God had it so that each time I had to war for my peace, I got to talk to Mark the next day. Both times he gave a resounding, “Yes, yes, yes!  We are in the Palm of His hand, the center of His will for our lives, and I’m actually having a good time in Boot Camp.” Now you know that’s a miracle! So, I’m sure I will be weaned from these divine phone calls to help me through the transition.  Now I have to trust in what the Lord has already shown us for our lives.

Mark has arrived to Boot Camp

Thankfully I got to talk with Private First Class Blakeman a few times on Friday.  He flew from Sacramento to Washington, DC then to Columbia, SC.  His Basic Training is at Fort Jackson – otherwise known as “Relaxin’ Jackson”.  I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough if that’s true. He told me that there were a few other guys that were “like him”.  I’m assuming that means young, married and with kids.  Prayerfully there will be spiritual kin as well.

Which brings me to a funny story.  On Thursday, our last night together, there were two young future soldiers that asked us for a ride to the gas station for some cigarettes.  Mark let them hop in the van and off we went.  One of them was going to be a canon launcher for the Army and the other was going into the Air Force. As we drove, it was obvious that if we didn’t lead the conversation, then they certaintly would.  And lets just say, I did not want to pick up what they were putting down. Oh, it was awkward. 

Mark and I looked at each other realizing that these freshly graduated boys were held captive in our back seats. “We never dated before I proposed to my wife” was the next thing that Mark said.  The boys were in shock and asked, “What? How could that be?!”.  We told them how God spoke to us; each individually that we were to be married to one another.  After that, it seemed like the hardened mask these two were wearing began to soften up.  Come to find out, the one going into the Air Force just broke off his engagement because his fiance had not been faithful.  He was also apart of a congregation in Yuba City and really wanted the Holy Spirit to be active in his life. The other youth, the one going into the Army began to testify of all the amazing miracles he has seen in his life.  Both of them professed to be Christians – but man.  We would have never known it. 

As we got back to the Hotel to drop them off, they thanked us for the ride, and for sharing about Jesus.  At least for that short time, they thought about God.  They proclaimed him to be their Savior. 

God, I ask that you would captivate thier hearts.  Speak to them their identity and their purpose.  Surround them with men and women that can lead them into all truth and understanding.  Bring healing and restoration to their hearts. Be with them on their journey in the Military and keep them safe. Amen.

Now its Sunday. No word from Mark. But as his personal intercessor,  I’m confident that he is doing just fine!  

Yeah for Telephones

Its amazing what 5 minutes and 45 seconds can do!  I got to talk to Mark that long today – what a blessing. I’ve literally been jittery and overjoyed because of this all night. I could see his smile over the phone.  He is in what is called Reception. During this time, paperwork is completed, the future soldiers get shots and exams. Believe it or not, Mark told me that he will recieve a shot that will prevent sickness for 10 years.  I’ve never heard of such a thing, but hey…we will see if its for real.

He is thinking that the actual Boot Camp won’t start until next week. Because of the short time limit he said,  “I’ll write you all about it” with a smile.  I asked him if he is glad that he is there and he had a confident “Yes!”